Disable BMW X1 E84 SOS calling system that failed but is calling 911 over and over

 First, the internet is useless.  100% of the info out there on this module are wrong and people being dumb, just parrot the same info as if they were correct.   Maybe for the 2019+ models they are correct, but they are utterly and totally wrong for the E84 X1.
No the backup battery did not die. The E84 does not have one.   No the module is not under the headliner by the antenna Fin.  Again that's incredibly wrong.  wanna see what is there?  Here's a photo,  I ruined by headliner for you. That's the Pano roof control module. All the bimmer forum people can STFU with telling people wrong info and acting like they are experts.  They are not experts and don't listen to those morons.



The BMW forums are all full of shit, Youtube is full of shit, Reddit is full of shit.  the SOS system is built into the telematics box.   here it is down by the car battery.   Now I thought I could disable this by disconnecting the antennas.  Nope that thing will do whatever it can to get a cellular signal out.  Found out that did not work as the thing called 911 while sitting in a airport parking lot.  So it's time to either buy a replacement box for $1500 from BMW,  $199 to $350 from Ebay,  or use my electronics know how.   Just disconnecting the box makes you lose all radio audio and you lose your bluetooth phone stuff.  the radio can be fixed with a fiberoptic loopback. you still lose the bluetooth and aux in.

But I figured out a better solution,  open it up and rip out it's mouth

Inside there is a daughterboard that is the cellular part.  why is it a daughter board? because the USA is different from europe so they just want to swap that part.

Grab it and remove it.  reassemble the box and reinstall.

You now stopped it from EVER calling 911 again. and you retain the audio and bluetooth hands free and connectivity that way as well as the "AUX INPUT"  yes for some strange ass reason AUX is routed back to this box and back up to the head unit.. 

Oh the dealer?  they wanted $5000 to fix this. $1500 for the box and the rest as a diagnostic and labor.   now on every start I get a SOS failed warning that goes away. after a moment.    Will it hurt my resale? yes!  I can no longer make $60,000 selling it!  THE HORROR!  IT's a 2013 that is over 80,000 miles so the timing chain guides are already a ticking time bomb.    Don't really give a flying fart about resale,  I just want 2 more years without a car payment.

If I can figure out how to code out the check for the stupid SOS I'll post it here.  That's a whole nother ball of raging bullshit on the internet. 100% of the instructions to do so are completely wrong and can not work for an E84. 

I remember back when BMW enthusiasts shared good info instead of being dumb parrots.

UPDATE:  After more investigation and getting my hands on BMW dealer diagnostic software (don't ask, not It's not legal)  I got more info and started to do a little more research because I am annoyed by the "SOS fault" error that is showing on every start.   It's only an annoyance, and does not have to be actually fixed.    the diagnostic software shows a fault in the SOS switch,  it's in the big overhead module that controls the sunroof, so I took that apart thinking, well sunroof's leak and this got wet?  looked that over and tested everything. switch looks good and perfectly clean,  powering it and looking at the canbus messages with a scope shows it's not "shorted" as claimed.  yes the switch is canbus as it also get messages back to make the green led give you status info.  I checked wiring and that  is all clean.    so I am focusing on the actual module that I ripped the cellular board out of as well as ordered a used one off ebay.   NOTE: this box is a pain in the ass to find exact replacements as there are 100 variations of it.   look for the same connectors, and then compare the part numbers as well as date codes.  This is when I discovered this box had been replaced once in my 2013 X1....  the box I have installed there is a 2018 date code.... Huh... someone replaced this with a new one before I got the car.  So I did some cross checking on realOEM and found what it replaced and found the older part numbers.

I have the older 2013 box coming from ebay.  Lets see what I can learn from this box.  I have a sneaking suspicion that the errors are not real and are being caused by the telematics box. which may explain why this one is a replacement already and BMW actually has a problem with this box and it failing.