Disable BMW X1 E84 SOS calling system that failed but is calling 911 over and over

 First, the internet is useless.  100% of the info out there on this module are wrong and people being dumb parrot the same info as if they were correct.   Maybe for the 2019+ models they are correct, but they are utterly and totally wrong for the E84 X1.
No the backup battery did not die. The E84 does not have one.   No the module is not under the headliner by the antenna Fin.  Again that's incredibly wrong.  wanna see what is there?  Here's a photo,  I ruined by headliner for you. Thats the Pano roof control module.



The BMW forums are all full of shit, Youtube is full of shit, Reddit is full of shit.  the SOS system is built into the telematics box.   here it is down by the car battery.   Now I thought I could disable this by disconnecting the antennas.  Nope that thing will do whatever it can to get a cellular signal out.  Found out that did not work as the thing called 911 while sitting in a airport parking lot.  So it's time to either buy a replacement box for $1500 from BMW,  $199 to $350 from Ebay,  or use my electronics know how.   Just disconnecting the box makes you lose all radio audio and you lose your bluetooth phone stuff.  the radio can be fixed with a fiberoptic loopback.

But I figured out a better solution,  open it up and rip out it's mouth

Inside there is a daughterboard that is the cellular part.  why is it a daughter board? because the USA is different from europe so they just want to swap that part.

Grab it and remove it.  reassemble the box and reinstall.

You now stopped it from EVER calling 911 again. and you retain the audio and bluetooth hands free and connectivity that way.

Oh the dealer?  they wanted $5000 to fix this. $1500 for the box and the rest as a diagnostic and labor.   now on start I get a SOS failed warning that goes away. after a moment.    Will it hurt my resale? yes!  I can no longer make $60,000 selling it!  THE HORROR!  IT's a 2013 that is over 80,000 miles so the timing chain guides are already a ticking time bomb.    Dont really give a flying fart about resale,  I just want 2 more years without a car payment.

If I can figure out how to code out the check for the stupid SOS I'll post it here.  Thats a whole nother ball of raging bullshit on the internet. 100% of the instructions to do so are completely wrong and can not work for an E84.

I remember back when BMW enthusiasts shared good info instead of being dumb parrots.